Just a Couple of Ideas

...........................................

it is what it says

i am ashamed of the power other people's words have over me
you said
no
if, but
hey
how one day your words make me
and the next they lay waste to me
just
words
a few words
what the fuck was it to you even?
which shows me how little control
how little power i have over myself
how
i'm too open to suggestion
attack
is that love?
wait
no
however unintended
like an invalid who can't control his bowels
thats what people leave me
in drive bys
it was just
an errant comment
and i'm covered in my own
fluids


what so?

so
i like the idea
that i can divine the characters
of boys
from simple

brief interactions

(nevermind the truth on this)

insinuating sweetness form
an awkwardness
or from a situational insecurity
i bet he is sweet though
those types of boys
aren't the kind with guile
they don't know not to be

too open

or silly or passionate
thats a beguiling lack of awareness
isn't it?
imagine that with a youthful
firm masculinity
imagine it

yeah so,
he was so proud
you could tell it in his manner
that he had just learned the word
unisex
because of the needless
proud manner
the way he swelled when he said it
dear god
i mean that shit
adorable, no?

what the fuck
am i supposed to do
in the presence of that?

the baseball cap
you see
that kind of shit gets me every time
that little cross pendant
its so fucking casual

i bet he's really sweet

...........................................