.......................................

Be a Fucking Man Already

i at the time
4 years old and whimpering
my mother holding me too tightly

you see
the doctor looked down
and said

"you think the worst thing that could happen to him would be severe injury,
but the worst thing that could happen
is that he would grow up to be a pussy."

THAT'S RIGHT...A PUSSY!

and he
being the man
my father never was
looked at me with
that half disgusted
sneer
and i
not wanting to disappoint him
fulfilled his assessment of me
with amazing
alacrity


Be a Fucking Man Already pt. 2

thats when the
MAN OF EXPERIENCE
told me

i find your desire to be boring
its so fucking
TIRESOME really
can't you find something else to talk about?
can't you fucking talk about anything else?
i (we) really are so beyond desire
at this point
of development
oh and
have i told you that we may no longer have any further interest in your self loathing?
we've fucking heard it all before
seriously motherfucker!
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
get a new interest
become
DE TACHED!

what the fuck am i supposed to do
?
thats my whole thing
MY OEUVRE!
who am i without that?
what am i supposed to do?
i thought it was
be musing
and
en dearing
i guess not

what a fucking wash up i turned out to be

.......................................